How the fuck am I almost 27?
My body’s screaming like I’m almost 40
But my brain wants to run like I’m 17
I’m sitting in a bar at one in the afternoon
Because I’ll be napping by three
If I want to stay up past eleven
I got to more weddings than parties
And everyone asks me when I’m getting hitched
As if it’s something I have planned out on a to-do list
I think I missed the part when someone explained
When what is supposed to happen when as an adult
In what most people call a normal life
As if anything I’ve ever done is normal
I guess I did everything ass-backwards
But I can say with confidence I don’t hold a single regret
It’s just a little awkward when people stare at me
With their heads tilted to the side
Wondering what’s wrong with me and
What the fuck am I doing
Especially because I still don’t quite know
This strange assumption that everyone has it all together
I doubt there isn’t a single person who
Doesn’t go home to stare into the mirror
And wonder what the fuck they are doing
My license says I’m almost 27
But I never felt any older than 19
How the fuck do I have a degree?
How the fuck did I get a regular day job?
That doesn’t require me to stock dusty shelves
Or ask if you want fries with that?
When the fuck did I become an adult?
Why does it feel like if I had a kid
I would be on the next season of Trashy Teen Parents on TLC?
And why does it make me sick to my stomach to think
That I’m not getting any younger
And people expect me to get married
Buy a house and have some kids
When all I want to do is run and scream and play
I might be almost 27
According to these standards
I’ll never grow up