27: How the Fuck did I get here?

How the fuck am I almost 27?

My body’s screaming like I’m almost 40

But my brain wants to run like I’m 17

I’m sitting in a bar at one in the afternoon

Because I’ll be napping by three

If I want to stay up past eleven

I got to more weddings than parties

And everyone asks me when I’m getting hitched

As if it’s something I have planned out on a to-do list

I think I missed the part when someone explained

When what is supposed to happen when as an adult

In what most people call a normal life

As if anything I’ve ever done is normal

I guess I did everything ass-backwards

But I can say with confidence I don’t hold a single regret

It’s just a little awkward when people stare at me

With their heads tilted to the side

Wondering what’s wrong with me and

What the fuck am I doing

Especially because I still don’t quite know

This strange assumption that everyone has it all together

I doubt there isn’t a single person who

Doesn’t go home to stare into the mirror

And wonder what the fuck they are doing

My license says I’m almost 27

But I never felt any older than 19

How the fuck do I have a degree?

How the fuck did I get a regular day job?

That doesn’t require me to stock dusty shelves

Or ask if you want fries with that?

When the fuck did I become an adult?

Why does it feel like if I had a kid

I would be on the next season of Trashy Teen Parents on TLC?

And why does it make me sick to my stomach to think

That I’m not getting any younger

And people expect me to get married

Buy a house and have some kids

When all I want to do is run and scream and play

I might be almost 27

According to these standards

I’ll never grow up

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2 thoughts on “27: How the Fuck did I get here?

  1. Epi B says:

    Peter Pan Syndrome FTW!! Nothing wrong with that 🙂

  2. Dan says:

    Sitting here wondering what the fuck am I doing here I type into my phone what the fuck am I doing here and boom I’m reading your shit. So thinking what was I doing when I was 27 christ that was 27 fucking years ago!

    So here I am a grandpa three kids two grandkids in my garage smoking a cigar wondering the same god damn thing as a 27 year old.

    What I can say is grab on shit starts happening faster. Sure days drag on but before you know it the question is still the same. Too much time on your hands watching shit on TV or browsing time away.

    If you can find a way to capture each moment stop time and revel in it. Make each breath each word each step mean something rather than piss it away wondering what the fuck you are doing here but then again too fucking true what in the hell am I doing here?

    Go to the god damn beach in the winter walk in the sand when you wouldn’t think of getting wet. Go to the city and walk with the others no need to talk just take it in. Climb a hill in the woods and nap at the top wake up and wonder where the hell you came from.

    Find your way back more for those that care where you went than for you to return. Get grounded which way is north keep that bearing for a reference east is to you right south is on your 6 and west is left.

    I never knew where I was headed but I know what I know and it works. No one can take away what was its done and part of you. Advice is shit but one thing pops into mind, pause don’t react take it in no glimpse of an affect to you relax as bad as you’d like to keep control the harder you try the less influence there is.

    Go out in the garage and have a smoke and while you are there wonder

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